THE MOTHER’S BLESSING by Karen Huffer
Below is a more finished version of the blessing. There were some changes made as I prayed, but I think this works. It really was a great session. At the end I called up several mothers, including my own (Joan Smiley) who were available to give hugs to anyone who needed one. I think we were all amazed at the variety of people who came up to receive. My most memorable was a man who was probably 70+, who hugged me and wept telling me he was sorry and he loved me.
This takes place when a person stands in proxy representing the client’s the mother; they ask for forgiveness and then pray a blessing over the client. The Mother’s Blessing is an amazing tool which can bring life-changing freedom.
Everyone has a mom; I’ve got a great mom who always showed love and acceptance to all of her children, but even she is not perfect: and would probably admit that. I am not a perfect mom and can easily think of many times that I failed my sons. Some have several mothers: the mother who gave birth to you and raised you, adoptive mother, step-mother (due to death or divorce), grandmother who raised you, “aunt-mother” or anyone who has filled the role of mother in your life; good or bad, perceived and/or real.
We all have had experiences with our mom(s) or these mother-figures. Mothers affect (or have affected) all of us. These experiences effect who we are, and can have both positive and negative effects. God’s intention for mothers is to be their child’s comforter, nurturer, and teacher. Some mother’s are able to fulfill this responsibility and some are not. It could be because of what they received, or didn’t receive from their own mother. Mothers mimic what they have seen modeled. Most do their best with the limited skills or abilities that they have.
Often a person will have a void, or pain, in their life because of the relationship they had with their mother. Sometimes it is our misguided perspective, or skewed memories that lead us to believe that our mother has failed us. Whether that is true or not, the void/pain remains until healing comes – even through adulthood.
I remember one healing room session when I gave a mother’s blessing to a woman in her late 60s. The mother was still living and continued to cause pain to her daughter by the way she treated her, spoke to her and her lack of love. The blessing brought a freedom that she had never experienced. She was finally able to forgive her mother, and hear and receive words of love for the first time. Even though those words came from me as I stood in proxy for her mother, she received them as being from her mother. I have seen this woman in passing several times since that day and although we haven’t talked, I’ve seen a difference in her countenance. God began a real work of healing in her because of the mother’s blessing that she received.
In the Healing Rooms we have also learned that there is direct correlation between the person’s thoughts or feeling about mom, and their relationship with the Holy Spirit. So healing may be not only needed physically and emotionally, but also spiritually.
In Jeremiah 1:5a God tells us, “Before I formed you in the [your mother’s] womb I knew you.” Psalm 139:13 “For thou didst form my inward parts; Thou didst weave me in my mother’s womb.” Whether or not the mother is who God created her to be, she is the one that gives birth and greatly influences her child by what she does or doesn’t do – says or doesn’t say. Children sometimes pay a heavy price for their mother’s imperfections.
A mother’s blessing will take you to a deeper place of healing within yourself so you can guide others to their place of healing as well. Sometimes you may need to stand in for a person’s mother and ask forgiveness, and cast out the hurt and pain that his/her mother caused, and then bless them in all the ways his/her mother should have done.
There is no formula. First you need to pray that the Spirit of God to lead and guide you. He will tell you if you’re to stand in for their mother and ask for forgiveness. Proverbs 12:18b, “But the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 15:4a, “A soothing (healing) tongue is a tree of life”. Use wisdom. If He doesn’t say yes, don’t do it. It may be that they are not ready to receive yet. You can make a note on the paper so that the next prayer team can ask the Holy Spirit if they are to do the blessing. (Side note: This can even be done if the mother is no longer living. And the person praying can be younger that the client.)
Some things a mother usually needs to ask forgiveness for are:
- for judging, It is always your fault. You’ll never be good enough, or smart enough. Makes critical and hurtful comments. Proverbs 18:20, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” If the mother has spoken harsh or unkind words it deeply affects their child – even if those words are spoken to an adult child.
- for abandonment, Physical not being there – left child with father or grandparent and didn’t return. Releasing a child for adoption can produce a sense of abandonment. Emotional – not available to give love.
- for lack of protection (physically, emotionally, and spiritually), A huge issue is when there was sexual or emotional abuse and the mother didn’t protect – or did not believe that it happened. Sometimes the mother may not have been aware of the abuse, or made have chosen to act as thought it wasn’t happening. Maybe the mother was the abuser. Occult involvement. Allowed child to see or hear inappropriate things – porn, language
- for not trusting (not believing you), expecting the worse from you. Taking sides against the child.
- for being unapproachable, maybe there were walls built by mom, making the child fearful. Was there rage, anger?
- for not being a good character role model (not showing what a Godly woman, wife, and mother should look like),
- for not setting boundaries (for not teaching you to set boundaries), allowing abuse – physical, emotional – modeling that as acceptable behavior.
- for not teaching you to relate to men/women appropriately, Instill distrust, or fear of opposite sex. This could be something like all men are evil, they will use you and throw you away – women only want your money. Must use sexuality to get what they want/need.
- for falling short in nurturing. According to Webster’s, nurture means to supply with nourishment. Did she withhold love, affection and encouragement? Kindness? We have all seen a mother, who publicly yells at their child or hits them, and causes them shame and embarrassment. Did mom ignore, was she selfish and more interested in what she wanted to do rather than what the child needed.
It doesn’t matter whether or not the offense was intentional, it can still cause the same result and wounding.
These are just some ideas Reasons for forgiveness. Most prayers should end with a comment like, “If I have hurt you in any other way please forgive me”
Then, once they have forgiven, you can deal with the effects of the mother’s actions. Meaning if sickness, or disease, hurt/pain, or walls have been formed because of their mother’s mistakes you take authority over them and command them (spirit’s) to leave. They no longer have a foothold because the person has accepted the apology and forgiven the mistakes. Some of the biggest and more common strongholds can include but are not limited to: fear, rejection, and abandonment.
Finally, you want to stand in for his/her mother and bless them. We need to fill those places that have been emptied out, with the blessings of God. (Naming fruits of the Holy Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23 is a great way to do this. see below) Great example of why we need to do this…Matthew 12:44-45, “Now when the unclean spirit goes out of a man, it passes through waterless places, seeking rest, and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came’; and when it comes it finds it unoccupied, swept, and put in order. “Then it goes, and takes along with it seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there; and the last state of that man becomes worse than the first”… We don’t want this to happen, which reinforces the need for blessing.
This is the time to bless his/her physical body and personal situation (financial and tangible aspects of his/her life), bless his/her emotions (bless them with the fruit and that they would be carriers to bear the fruit of the spirit . . . love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control), and bless his/her spiritual walk (allowing them to know who they are in Christ and walk as an heir to the throne, a joint heir with Jesus, giving them the power to do the “greater” works of Jesus). Bless them with friends, and family (spouse/children). Bless them with the blessings of God in abundance (filled to overflowing, pressed down, shaken together and running over).
A sample prayer is included, but be open to the Holy Spirit’s direction when giving the blessing.
Clinic: OK, now it is your turn. Allow the Holy Spirit to minister to you through this blessing. Please stand, close your eyes and position yourself to receive.
My child, I ask your forgiveness as a mother, standing in for your mother.
Please forgive me for not loving you the way you needed me to.
Please forgive me for being so critical of you, for saying things that devalued you, and making you feel stupid or worthless.
Please forgive me for not encouraging you, and for neglecting to say things to build you up.
Please forgive me for not comforting you when you needed to be comforted.
Will you forgive me for all the times I was selfish and so involved with my life, that I had no time for you.
I ask your forgiveness for taking away your childhood by placing parenting and adult responsibilities on your shoulders
Please forgive me for judging you when I should have held you.
Please forgive me for not listening to you when you needed someone to share your heart with.
For those times I didn’t believe you and defend you and I left you feeling alone, unprotected, and with no safe place.
Please forgive me for embarrassing you, and causing you to feel shame.
Forgive me for not being there at school, sports events, and other times when I should have been there to let you know how proud I was of you.
Please forgive me for not protecting.
Please forgive me for every way that I have disappointed, failed, and wounded you.
And if I have hurt you in any other way, please forgive me.
Now I command fear, rejection and/or abandonment to go in Jesus name…
You no longer have a place here.
I speak to illness, diseases or wounding caused by my actions, and I command you to leave now. You have no right in this life anymore.
This is a child of the God most high, created by God to give Him Glory.
In Jesus’ name, I call blessings to come into the place where the fear, rejection and abandonment once resided. Fill those empty places, Lord, fill them up.
I renounce and break every word curse I’ve ever spoken over you.
I ask the Father, to reveal every lie you’ve believed about yourself, about God and about others because of my failure as a mother.
I bless you with truth from the heart of God and with the knowledge of who you are in Christ, I call you into your destiny.
I bless the day that you were born.
I bless you my child, you are loved, specially created, and perfect.
I am proud of you.
I honor and bless you as a person.
I love you just as you are and I release you to be who you are – not who you have believed I wanted you to be.
I bless you to grow into the person that God created you to be,
I bless your destiny, and I bless you with strength and wisdom and understanding.
I bless you with God’s desires and grace so that you may please Him.
I bless you to love and be loved.
I bless you with joy and happiness and peace.
I bless you to walk in your destiny.
I love you my child. I cherish you. You are God’s perfect gift to me, and I am blessed to be your mother.
I call forth every part of your personality that was not awakened or embraced to life.
I call forth now a new season of direction, the journey He has for you, and a freedom to live and move and have your very being in Him.
I bless you in the name of Jehovah-Shammah, your ever-present God
I bless you in the name of Jehovah-Rapha, your Healer
I bless you in the name of Jehovah-Shalom, your Peace
In Jesus Mighty Name, Amen